Day 23: What does my journey contain?
Second day of immense fatigue because we had to go back up the remaining part of Mission Creek. In hindsight, I would have gladly skipped the entire section. Now we are thirty kilometers from Big Bear, and I’ve the temptation to follow a couple of people in the group who intend to get there tomorrow evening. But I know my body wouldn't hold up; I could do it, yes, but I would pay a high price. For what, then? To arrive one day earlier? I intend to stop for a day and a half anyway, so rushing doesn't make much sense. I can’t wait to be back in town to get proper rest. Eat and rest. I also want to do a more precise estimate of how much the trip has cost me.
Walking along the riverbed, we wondered several times where the original trail was. I said that at that moment we weren't walking on the PCT because it no longer existed; how much difference would have made skipping this section? But I was told: if you are here because you want to walk from Mexico to Canada, then it does count; you have to walk the entire distance on foot. I find such a goal to be a fetish: I cannot believe that someone could have embarked on such a journey only to walk between two arbitrary points on the globe. The journey is a container, it’s a means to an end: do you intend to fill it only with steps? Or with sand, pine needles, dry leaves, snow, or what else?
Dino Lanzaretti, an Italian traveler, bikepacker, and explorer whom I discovered right here on the trail watching his videos on YouTube, said that any journey can fail only if you let others dictate the rules. If you decide why you are taking this journey and what drives you to keep going, you can never fail.
